This month marked a decade since ‘Nirvana’ front-man Kurt Cobain apparently took his own life, and inadvertently silenced the spirit of a generation who are still as lost and confused as he was. Kurt Cobain wasn’t anybody’s saviour, and nor did he want to be; he was just an average singer, a stoner and an ordinary bloke, Kurt Cobain was a legend, a poet and an ordinary bloke.
Strange memories and thoughts of the recent past come flooding back to me like the nervy tinge of a tranquillizing injection; cascading waves of nostalgic sickness merely threaten to undermine this tribute, let it descend into the muddy waters of hero worship or fan-boy adoration. How am I to remember this man, this band, this music; do I keep to the facts and try not to let the profoundly disturbing, but nonetheless surreal, image of Kurt Cobain; dead in his garage, shot-in-the-head surrounded by novelty items straight out of ‘The Generation Game’s’ conveyer belt affect my judgement. Can I overlook the fact that this great, reluctant icon didn’t so much burn-out, as fizzle away into a mire of unresolved issues, ‘Sunset Beach’ style conspiracy and forehead slapping irony; double-barrelled, shot full of heroin lying there for days with nothing but a ‘Sega Game-Gear’ and some cuddly toys to mark his passing? Perhaps he would’ve loved the irony; in that having been a spokesman for a generation often derided for its apathetic indifference and lazy, self-obsession, he too, would suffer the same fate of having to wait around to be discovered, and (if he was murdered) by a security installation guy no less.
I could overlook an easy gag and stop myself from saying that being married to Courtney Love is enough to drive anyone to suicide, but the fact of the matter is; that I don’t know all that much about Miss Love to warrant such an assault, and despite the fact that some people think that she, and the couple’s live-in nanny; Michel “Cali” DeWitt, had something to do with Kurt’s death is beside the point. After all, my view of Courtney Love has been prejudiced by what I’ve read or seen on documentaries, Pro-Cobain websites and that touchstone of journalistic integrity: ‘E!’
Kurt’s anniversary, to me, wasn’t an analysis of his death, but an appreciation of his artistic life, or to put it another way; a time where fans set out to remember the music but inevitably end up indulging in sporadic bouts of Courtney bashing or trying to achieve some kind of Zen-like connection to their fallen idol, for as per usual; loss/death permeates back to one’s own selfish wants and needs, we miss him because he had something to say, because, from what we knew, he epitomised the universal, intangible sense of malaise that afflicts us all and ultimately seemed to consume him. Kurt Cobain was an average singer, a stoner and an ordinary bloke, Kurt Cobain was a legend, a poet and an ordinary bloke, thus we come back to ourselves; a lament for all the things we’ve lost, and so we’re left alone again; like voiceless wraiths in a meaningless time of unbridled inequity and blood-curdling obscenity, thus it continues much like it began; with a Bush in the White House and the world in turmoil, in an age of assembly-line drones happily churning out the Muppet music of their owners.
But ten years on, and a multitude of unanswered questions continue to bother all those who loved Nirvana's music, a veritable sophistory of doubt and concern that’d make for a great episode of ‘Colombo’, weird, ‘CSI’ type stuff; like why did he have 225mgs of heroin in his bloodstream (maybe-to-sate-the-chronic-stomach-pains-he’d-suffered-all-his-life, says the voice of reason), but then why bring a shotgun into play? that’s either a waste of heroin, or just plain overkill, and besides, you shoot Keith Richards with that much smack and he’s not getting up, much less a comparative lightweight like Cobain, who should’ve been convulsing or dead, but somehow found the inner-strength and co-ordination needed to put a bullet in his head…strange facts indeed, elusive, troublesome details, and that’s not even counting an alleged police report which claims that their were no legible fingerprints on the gun… no doubt Jorja Fox would have a field day with this stuff.
So instead of any meticulously planned, contrived remembrance to the man, I’d opt out and say that our best tribute to Kurt is the tribute without ceremony, a daily mark of respect that comes from simply listening to the songs and hearing the lyrics.
I watch some singer being towed off into manufactured mediocrity, a youth-club full of punk-*** pre-teens attempting to rap like its part of their parole agreement, the ritual humiliations doled out to desperate wannabes by their would-be bosses, the usual batch of club scene, disc-jockey-defibrillators trying to revive the talent-less cadavers of ‘singers’ who refuse to go quietly and spend their millions and leave the rest of us alone, but then again, we’ve bought it on ourselves…so I salute you ‘Pop Idol’, ‘Girls Aloud’ Victoria Beckham, ‘Blazing Squad’ et all, for music is dead, long live the reluctant icon, long live Kurt Cobain. Posts: 2041 | From: The Ice Planet Hoth | Registered: Jul 2001 | Site Updates: 0
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I'm going to copy your post and give it to my daughter who's writing a paper on Kurt Cobain for an English project...she's a big Nirvana fan and I think she's arguing the point that it was murder, not suicide. I have no feeling on the subject, I didn't "get" the whole Nirvana thing...guess the generation gap is wide on this one. I came in late on the grunge period, and I prefer Soundgarden (oh yeah, that Chris Cornell) and Pearl Jam. Temple of the Dog...great collaboration.
OTOH I enjoy the Foo Fighters very much and feel that David Grohl has come into his own as a musician much more so than his Nirvana years.
I know Courtney gets a bum rap [deservedly in some instances], but Hole's "Live Through This" is a great recording.
I don't like to see someone self-destruct and this whole I-need-drugs-to-ease-the-pain syndrome is a lot of whining IMHO. At my particular stage in life, I know so many people who are on "mood altering" drugs so they can "cope"...I guess I'm just an intolerant old broad because I don't understand being unable to handle life without drugs, prescription or otherwise. I managed to get thru the '70s & '80s without taking drugs of any kind [and I am damn fun without any stimulants according to many], so when my contemporaries whine for their prozac I'm so "get over it."
Love the Denis Leary quote!
Posts: 1019 | From: NYS | Registered: Dec 2003 | Site Updates: 0
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posted
I think the moment the media gives something a label, the moment's gone. I remember seeing "Smells Like Teen Spirit" on MTV and walking into the kitchen where my ex was reading a book and describing how I'd just seen the most remarkable thing on MTV in the middle of the day. It was this heavy metal band that sounded a bit like 70's metal and reminded me a lot of Ozzy era Black Sabbath, but there was also a strong overtone of underground college rock and goth, and an even stronger undertow of a sound I've never heard before. A few day's later she bought the cd single to the song, then a few days after that there was this whole explosion of similar sounding musicians, and then there was all this talk of "grunge" music, which never made a whole lot of sense to me, but then modern media manufactured buzz words seldom do make sense. And by the time they'd labled it, it was, for all intents and purposes of originality, over. There were bands who, a couple of years earlier, would have been sonically altered to sound like Gun's 'N' Roses by media savy producers and record execs, now being altered to sound like Nirvana and Pearl Jam by the same vampires. This is not to say, by any means, that all of these bands sucked. On the contrary, many of them were quite good, but it was the "grunge friendly" packaging that was insulting. All that aside, seeing a shy, cynical, skinny white guy with long hair who was into poetry and music, and then looking in the mirror and seeing the same thing, there was a connection I felt. Now, it wasn't strong enough for me to become a fanatic, and truth be told, I wasn't even what most would call a "fan" as my ex was the one who actually bought their albums. And at that time I was in a huge creative boom in the generation of my own music which sounded like a cross between Wall Of Voodoo, Skinny Puppy, and Stewart Copeland and was a million billion miles away from the sound of Nirvanna. But still, there was an appreciation of the uniqueness, and the art, of this guy who I thought was similar to me. And I felt like if he could make it, I could (though I haven't yet, still workin' on that part). So, when my former Mother in law told me Cobain had commited suicide I felt a little sick, then I went in and turned on MTV, and without anyone else seeing, I began to cry. Since then I haven't become any more of a "fan" than I was when the man was still alive. No Cobain posters on the wall, no t-shirts. Heck, the only album I even own is the MTV unplugged which I got on clearance at a used cd store for about 2 bucks. But still, whenever I hear the music, or see a video, I get really sad thinking about what could have been. . .
Now, to be argumentative, a thing I despise, I can't stand conflict, I'm a very introverted and shy person, but I can get drawn into arguments, and can, sometimes, beat them to death when it's something I'm fanatical about (though I can assure this isn't one of those "something's"). I think the idea that anything, anything at all, whatsoever, OTHER than the fact that; ONE very depressive, depressed man, addicted to drugs, shot himself up with enough drugs to kill several people (or at least ONE longtime addict), and then, just to be certain, put both barrels of a shotgun in his mouth and blew out his brains. . .is just absolute, no holds barred, silly bull****ing**** (pardon my french). Any shrink, from community college counselor to star corporate witness will tell you looking over the man's past, and present, and looking at all the things he wrote, including his suicide note, that the guy killed himself. To invent anything other than a man alone ending his life violently is pure fantasy, and I find it all very insulting, and it makes me want to go to his friends, and his widow, and his little girl, and appologise to all of them for the rest of you silly fools who would suggest such an abusrd and baseless deulusion.
There's me 2 cents, put them on his eyes. . . "Mr. Kurtz. . .he dead. . .a penny for the old guy."
Not with a whimper, but a bang.
Posts: 278 | From: Austin, TX USA | Registered: Feb 2004 | Site Updates: 0
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It's gotta be the generation gap in my case, but I can appreciate how KC spoke to the right people at the right time. You, Pupster, fortunately had the proper perspective to be inspired by the guy without putting him on a pedestal. Those wayward teens who felt KC was god and followed his suicide example were obviously lost souls in many ways.
Since I am more a child of the '70s than anything, the only example I followed was that of the Stephanie character in "Saturday Night Fever."
This whole idolization thing is nothing new...human nature often looks for something missing in our lives and we associate it subjectively. I think of a line from a Barenaked Ladies song: "Look at Elvis...he sold his soul and we crowned him King." I don't think it was a knock at The Big E per se...the entire song is called "New Kid on the Block" and it's more about objectifying entertainers. Personally, I could never get the Elvis thing...I used to think "man, what a sweaty load" since I remember the sequined jumpsuit Elvis more than any of his personas.
Posts: 1019 | From: NYS | Registered: Dec 2003 | Site Updates: 0
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Kash
Kash : Aha! He'll save every one of us...
Member # 297
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Luckily, my memories of Elvis never happened in real-time so to speak, which is why I can be selective and always think of ‘The King’ the way he was in ‘Jailhouse Rock’ (like Christian Slater says in ‘True Romance’), ‘Loving You’ or ‘The 1968 Comeback Special’
As for the whole suicide or murder thing, granted, its been turned into a sick little media circus, but the fact still remains that they’re a lot of inconsistencies and flaws of evidence relating to the case, even the infamous note has a long story attached to it, perhaps it needs to be properly investigated once and for all.
As for Courtney Love; the only thing she ever did (if its true) that veers on unforgivable, was to take heroin whilst pregnant and have a hooked-on-smack newborn. Her music, though she can’t sing a note, is actually kinda cool, I dig the tracks ‘Violet’ and ‘Celebrity Skin’ (her and Cobain both wrote good lyrics), btw, did you guys know Ed Norton used to be a guitarist in ‘Hole’? Personally, I tend to idolize real selfish, degenerate losers and scumbags, ya know; politicians and the like, that way at least you won’t be disappointed if you ever meet them
Funny you should mention ‘Soundgarden’ Hipstermom, I was only just listening to ‘blow up the outside world’ and had to stop and watch the excellent video to ‘Blackhole Sun’. Hope my ‘Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas’ style tribute was of some use in your daughters project. If anyone's online now I'll see ya in chat, if not then I leave with the words of Hunter S. Thomson....
DUKE
All those pathetically eager acid freaks who thought they could buy Peace and Understanding for three bucks a hit. But their loss and failure is ours too. What Leary took down with him was the central illusion of a whole life-style that he helped create... a generation of cripples, failed seekers, who never understood the essential old-mystic fallacy of the Acid Culture: the desperate assumption that somebody... or at least some force -- is tending the light at the end of the tunnel.
Posts: 2041 | From: The Ice Planet Hoth | Registered: Jul 2001 | Site Updates: 0
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