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rhodes
Ace Rewinder
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a sorority or frat house being assaulted by a deranged killer should be shoo in for at least a three star rating as it is the perfect setting for bad movie horror mayhem!! All to often this is not the case, however. All too often it gets ****ed up and ****ed up bad. Just look at Killer Party or House on Sorority Row for two classic examples of wasted sorority titty. I was beginning to believe that the only sorority based films that ever lived up to their promise involved titles like 'Lesbian Sorority Sisters Part Two' and had inpenatrable mounds of writhing oiled naked female flesh sliding out of control down a Slip N Slide greased with baby oil toward a kiddie pool at the end with CAPTAIN RHODES in his Shaolin Speedos and a Pina Colada in his hand, awaiting the coming impact from 12 intertwined sorority sisters on the thresholds of g-spot ecstacy...HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!! Well, damn it, those days seem to finally be over because I'm pleased to report that I have finally found a film that not only lives up to its awesome premise, but gives you plenty to laugh at as well!!!


Here's a brief plot summary to let you know whats up: A group of young sorority and frat pledges are forced to spend the night in a fenced in house (where a half retarded son brutally butchered his family and supposedly offed himself) as part of their initiation. Yes, its simple and to the point but damn it, this movie kicked some serious ***!!!!! The drunken costume party at the beginning let us know we in for at least some marginal entertainment, but by the first kill we knew I had a winner!! First of all, this house is like some damn mansion out of Scooby Doo...this place has everything, secret passages, underground lair, Shining style maze garden, iron gate with razor sharp spikes, and an unhappy resident who doesn't appreciate his home being used by horny college students for their foolish Greek pranks.

For Shame....... This killer is truly awesome as he sports some truly stylin' Hobbit style pants that make you question whether or not you would stand a chance trying to score with the babes in a techno dance club with this smoothie combing the floors. Thats right bitches...STAND DOWN FROM THE FUNK!!! The first kill with the decapitation has to be seen to be believed and other notables include the 360 degree head twist and the shotgun boogie blast!!! The Linda Blair dry hump the bed from terror scene is truly unbelievable and there is some major bounce on those titties from her inspired electric locomotion!!

But no review of this film would be complete without a salute to the MVP of this entire flick..Robin Hood!!! Does the Prince of Thieves make a special guest appearance in this film? Does Friar Tuck score some from some sorority sluts? Alas, the answer is no...our Robin Hood is a mere frat boy named Seth who is easily the coolest character in the entire film!! When he gets his hands on the shotgun there is some serious *** kicking to be had as he turns the tables on the killer if only for a short while!!! This film is easily worth the price of rental and gets four stars for its hilarious feel and some rather entertaining kills!!! The end is awesome and had me rewinding it at least a few times!!! GO CHECK IT OUT!!!! CAPTAIN RHODES approves!!!!!! [Big Grin]

Posts: 434 | From: nevada | Registered: Sep 2004 | Site Updates: 0  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Canyoudigit.
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This movie does drag on a bit though doesn't it, i found myself willing the killer on so i could get the movie over with.

It's above average, with some excellent set design. I always think it's a shame Linda was stuck in the Horror and Exploitation genres, i think she had a lot more to offer.

Posts: 515 | From: Protector of the 80's Ladies. | Registered: May 2004 | Site Updates: 0  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Stitch Groover
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It's not a bad film, a bit weird though. In my recollection, the bodies of the original massacre are sometimes still where they fell, sometimes they aren't there.
Posts: 3839 | From: Wangaratta, Vic, Australia | Registered: Jun 2004 | Site Updates: 0  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
mamamiasweetpeaches
She's with you, but she's thinking of Jake Ryan....
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Well I gotta say :Thumbs down. this one just fell a little short for me.
The ingrediants: Linda Blair, group of horny teens, spooky manor, rampaging lunatic on the loose.....all the things I hold dear....and somehow the movie just holds back and doesnt achieve greatness for me.
Maybe it's because even though it HAD these things it didnt have ENOUGH of them. As I rememebr there reallyw asnt THAT much blood and nudity in this thing. And also....that since it was dark in that house you had to strain to see anything...most of all the murderer...who I think we get a flash gimpse of and if memory serves he looked sort of like the monster from THE GOONIES.
The continuancy of who got killed and where they lay was also confusing. Like when someone stumbles across a dead bodey...we're not sure whose dead body it IS!> (Because aside for the four teens in the house tehre are also three college bodies tip-toeing around outside playing pranks.
This movie was in my collection for awhile but one day I was watching it Sober As The Pope (dumb move!) and I sat reeling in deisbelief when Robin Hood went to the police precincr, grabbed a shotgun and crawled out a window with it...all without being noticed! I truly beleived in The Legend Of Garth Manor...but this guy stealing weapons from a precinct..THAT was too huge a streech of the imagination for me.
* outta ****

Posts: 4913 | From: New York | Registered: Jul 2003 | Site Updates: 0  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
rhodes
Ace Rewinder
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Hey mama me and a feiend are considering doing a horror site ,he is a computer genius when it comes to computers and graphics.The only problem is time and his schedule and mine,but if i can get this to come together i would really like you to submit reviews yes i write a little on the raunchy side,but to me that is fun and to have a woman writting reviews would be great.

CAPTAIN RHODES

Posts: 434 | From: nevada | Registered: Sep 2004 | Site Updates: 0  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
mamamiasweetpeaches
She's with you, but she's thinking of Jake Ryan....
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"I am not sexist...look!...I have a woman friend!"

Hahaha. I'm flattered.

I really think you should do a website. It makes me wonder where you're pulling these reviews out of. (Do you have a notebook full of them?)

Posts: 4913 | From: New York | Registered: Jul 2003 | Site Updates: 0  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
rhodes
Ace Rewinder
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Hey mama i used to submit reviews for a ex-friend of mine and his pals back in 1999-2000
Posts: 434 | From: nevada | Registered: Sep 2004 | Site Updates: 0  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Jessie the Sunflower Goddess
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I watched this with Linda Blair and one of the Van Dyke boys, and Peter Barton a few years ago. The only thing about it that I thought was odd was that there wasn't more background information about the murders that supposedly took place there. Not on one of the best horror lists in my opinion but still has a good storyline and worth checking out.
Posts: 5319 | From: KANSAS | Registered: Sep 2003 | Site Updates: 2  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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