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» iRewind Talk » Movies » « 80's Movies » JAY'S MOVIE RANTS PART 1: FIREWALKER

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Author Topic: JAY'S MOVIE RANTS PART 1: FIREWALKER
JAY LEE
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We all love 80's movies, or well, movies in general. And it is certainly nice to have place like this to gush and goo goo over all those great classic flicks that we adore. But as the self appointed, resident grinch, I will kick off my own little thread, to spew some rants on some of the flicks that just didn't deliver the goods. And of course, everyone is welcome to chime in, whether they agree or disagree. So here we go.....

FIREWALKER- 1986

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SYNOPSIS:

Max and Leo, a couple of adventurers, sets off on a treasure hunt with newly-acquired partner Patricia, owner of a treasure map. Along the way they encounter many dangers, bar fights, mercenaries, shamans and other obstacles. They finally find the temple with the treasure of gold. But also the Firewalker, who wants to retain the power of his ancestors and put an end to the trio's treasure hunt.

RANT:

More Cannon fodder, starring Chuck Norris, this time with an adventure twist, and teaming up with the always enjoyable Lou Gossettt Jr. to look for gold, and rip off every 80’s adventure movie in the process.

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Chuck Norris, no doubt, had his golden days at Cannon Films in the 80’s, with a string of solid action flicks throughout the decade. Sure, they weren’t exactly cinematic masterpieces, but from the first Missing In Action through to the second Delta Force entry, there were hardly a weak link in the chain, as far as all american, macho entertainment is concerned. Well, there was one, and Firewalker was its name-o.

Director, J. Lee Thompson had marginal success in copying the Indiana Jones style, adventure movie with the earlier Cannon effort King Solomon’s Mines, and tries to recreate that same familiar mix of action, adventure and comedy here. But despite whatever effort was put forth, it is one big ole’ mess of a movie.

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This, being an action comedy, makes you wonder what was going on in the mind of the Cannon execs at the time. When the words comedy and Chuck Norris were mentioned in the same sentence, at any of the pre production meetings, maybe someone with half a brain should have pointed out, that those things might not necessarily mix. Sadly, no one did.

There's no denying that Chuck can kick people in the face, and spout of macho one liners till the cows come home. But comedy is not really his forté, and this movie is painful proof of that. Even when accompanied by the dry wit of the great Lou Gossett, it still falls flat, as does the supposed chemistry between the two guys. It feels forced and artificial, and is probably one of the movie’s biggest detriments.

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Casting is key, and they dropped the ball here. Melody Anderson, the female part of our adventurous trio, is in dire need of some acting lessons. Sonny Landham, who is almost always an asset, is just laughable as the villain. And John Rhys Davies, shows, once again, that he will do more or less anything for money. Even regurgitating his own one note character in whatever Indy rip off, comes his way. No one really delivers a performance of note here.

Actually, I can’t really find anything positive to say about this movie. Every aspect of the production seems extremely half assed and amateurish. A sloppy, uninspired rush job, with clumsy and random action scenes, seeing Chuck doing the same roundhouse kick again and again. Embarrassing attempts at humour, and awful dialogue.

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But what really grinds my gears more than anything else, and this pertains not only to this movie, but also others with similar circumstances, is wasted potential. You have a halfway decent cast, if you knew how to use them, the budget, the sets, the locations, it’s all right there. And this hackneyed mess is the best you could come up with?

With some tweaking, tuning and a little heart and soul, this could, at the very least, have been a fun piece of B-movie action, adventure cheese. But Firewalker fails in every category, which tells me that no one bothered, so why should we?

[ 26. December 2010, 09:14: Message edited by: JAY LEE ]

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Logan 5
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"Cannon fodder" - like it!

quote:
With some tweaking, tuning and a little heart and soul, this could, at the very least, have been a fun piece of B-movie action, adventure cheese. But Firewalker fails in every category, which tells me that no one bothered, so why should we?
I always thought that's what Firewalker was - a cheesy b-movie Indiana Jones ripoff. I haven't seen it in years, but I recall liking it and mentally putting it with the Richard Chamberlain Indy ripoffs - which I also liked. Melody was cute and Chuck seemed to be having a good time (for a change). Maybe it was my youth that. I'll try and re-watch it soon.
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aTomiK
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I remember the day we rented Firewalker back in ´87.
We had pretty high hopes but it was a major disappointment.

It was so bad that we didn´t even tape it
so i haven´t seen it since.
Someday i´m going to buy a six-pack and watch it again.

One guy on another forum said that Firewalker has a pretty enjoyable bar fight [Smile]

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JAY LEE
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Wow, even aTomiK doesn't like this movie [Smile]

Then you know it has to suck!!!! [Wink]

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Logan 5
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quote:
Originally posted by JAY LEE:
Wow, even aTomiK doesn't like this movie [Smile]

Then you know it has to suck!!!! [Wink]

Somewhere in there is a kind of compliment.
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JAY LEE
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aTomiK knows what I mean [Smile] He's not the most discerning fella [Smile] Nor should he be! I wish I was better at taking the good with the bad, when it comes to cheesy flicks!
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JAY LEE
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Well, Discerning is not quite the right word.... eeeh, discriminative [Smile]
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aTomiK
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Yeah, JAY the man LEE is right on the money here.
It has to be really bad [Cool]

Jackie Chan did this adventure thing so much better
following year with Armour of God.

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JAY LEE
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Love Armour Of God, though I like part 2 better aka Operation Condor! That ending in the nazi bunker is pure genious!
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aTomiK
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That scene is pure Chan magic!
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kevdugp73
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OK....I've read all the comments and certainly can't disagree with most points. But for some darndest reason....I want a copy! * Great display of committment and passion about movies Jay.....takes a lot of time to thouroughly critique a movie, so...thanks!
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JAY LEE
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Thanks, and your welcome kev [Smile]

Got another rant lined up, so stay tuned [Big Grin]

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