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Author Topic: Things That Bother You About Movies
Bernie_Lomax
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Are there any common things in 80's movies that particularly bother you.

What I find bothersome and although I can't think of a specific example off the top of my head is when one character says I am going to be at this place later and the other person says I will see you there. Later is pretty broad. Or a guy asks a chick out and he says I'll pick you up later but he has just met her and has no idea where she lives. It has always annoyed me that the characters just seem to instinctively know the other persons movements and whereabouts or whatever...I mean in real life we would ask ah what time do you wanna meet...where do you live...how long you hanging out there...etc...

Does this ring a bell with anyone. Can anyone cite some examples of characters in movies having unusual ESP skills?

I am sure I will come up with half a dozen but keen to see if you guys have any examples first.

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Crash
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Heck, I hear you. Film critic Roger Ebert made a project of collecting this kind of stuff for his "Little Movie Glossary" book. For example, characters have ESP so that when they turn on any television, a news story about the heart of the plot always comes on. They never have to wait for it or change channels. [Smile]
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Bernie_Lomax
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Characters will always go somewhere too and the girl that they are interested in just happens to be at the place....I mean I could go for a walk to the park right now hoping that the hot girl from university is going to be there but I know realistically that when I get there I'll just end up sitting on the swings or something and then finally coming to the realisation that she aint rockin up and then walking home.
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Crash
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ROFL. Yep. Exactly. I've done many of those walks to the park, the record store, the fast food joint, the bar...

Here's another one about characters with ESP: knowing exactly which way the bad guy is going to go. Example: from a Charles Bronson film, "Ten to Midnight," where Bronson is chasing the bad guy down a city street. Bronson's clearly behind in the foot race. The bad guy turns the corner, and, yes, there's Charlie who points his gun in the bad guy's face. Always happens that way...

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Bernie_Lomax
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I actually live in a townhouse complex and my balcony faces this girls balcony. She always seems to have her curtains closed but I keep looking out my curtain just in case she decides to walk out onto the balcony in a thin white cotton dress when its raining....it has not happened yet.

It's funny you should mention Bronson. Just last night I was doin laps at the local pool and some old guy swims into me and starts goin' off sayin I should get out the way...and I was like lighten up Charlie Bronson.

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Crash
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Sigh... I know those fantasies all too well!

ROFL. You should have said, "You get outta my way, scumbag" they way Charlie would have said it through clenched teeth and squint. [Smile]

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Bernie_Lomax
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I should have just hid in the shallow end in a corner and then popped him with a .22 as he approached.
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P_a_u_l
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Here's some clues to let you know you're watching a real bad movie full of cliches....

1. Lots of helicopters. It's the #1 truth that the badness of a movie is in direct proportion to the number of helicopters.

2. Dogs always know who's bad, and bark at them. How is that?

3. All members of alien species wear the same outfits, including clothing, hairstyles, and jewelery. This makes them readily identifiable. Aliens who do not dress like aliens are hiding something.

4. Whenever someone looks through binoculars, you see two joined circles instead of one.

5. At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.

6. Bombs. Loads here. For a start, they always have big, blinking, beeping timer displays. Evil geniuses who devise bombs to destroy things/people are always thoughtful enough to include a very visible display (usually LED) of how much time remains before the bomb detonates, giving the hero accurate feedback on exactly how much time remains. Also, all of the wires have different colors, so the hero can easily differentiate them when he has to cut the right one. When he cuts the wire to the detonator, the timer will stop. He is not able to do this, however, until only one second remains on the timer.

7. There are always people carrying around large sheets of glass on the street during a car chase.

8. A hero will show no pain even during the most terrific beating, yet he will wince if a women attempts to clean a facial wound.

9. Every single apartment in Paris has a great view of the Eiffel Tower.

10. All VCRs in films are always cued up exactly to the portion of tape you want to show someone.

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Bernie_Lomax
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Classic stuff. I found it hard to contain myself reading some of that.

Number 6. Octopussy is a classic example of stopping the bomb just on time with the timer all digitalised in red.

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Crash
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The digital countdown timer--in red! What a silly cliche!
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Chris the CandyFanMan
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They had good fun ripping that up in Galaxy Quest with Tim Allen panicking that the simple way to stop his ship from blowing up doesn't appear to have worked--then remembers that it always stops at 1 on the show.


Also worth noting:

-there is always a convenient parking space in downtown metropolitan areas even in the heat of rush hour

-underwater shots are always perfectly clear, even in presumably polluted harbors

-villains who take kicks or blows to the you-know-what are instantly incapacitated, whereas heroes can take multiple blows there and keep on chugging

-in regards to helicopters, you can jump right in and be off the ground in 10 seconds in a crunch; by the estimation of guides at the American Heicopter Museum in West Chester, in real life 20 minutes is a more accurate figure

-likewise, the keys are often left right in the ignition of all cars, so you can get right in and be right off

-unless circumstances wager otherwise, all crashing vehicles will explode upon crashing with the force of an atomic grenade, even if it's made clear they're low on fuel beforehand

-drunks can snap back to complete sobriety in seconds if necessary

-widespread natural disasters, alien invasions, or other colossal catastrophies are best reacted to by running around in the streets screaming at the top of your lungs in blind panic

-you can take your eyes off the road while driving for inordinate amounts of time without crashing and killing everyone in the car

-high level government computers have laughably easy security passwords and the like that could be broken by a 7 year old without much effort

-you can tell when horrific battles will break out on a battlefield if two sentries on guard duty remark to each other during a lull: "It's quiet." "Yeah, TOO quiet..."

-the surest way to make sure a loved one survives apparently fatal injuries is to beat their chest frantically and scream at the top of your lungs that you love them

-characters can be scotch-guarded against getting dirty in usually dirty places whenever necessary

-weather patterns follow the seasons slavishly (it will always be brutally hot all summer long and snow like crazy in the winter) unless the plot specifically calls for it being otherwise

-people dying by falling off a cliff or other high location will always scream at the top of their lungs all the way down (if there is no scream, they will survive no matter how far the fall or what's at the bottom), even if their lungs were literally blown out a few seconds ago

-the very slightest blow to the head immediately renders all bad guys instantly unconscious

-ridiculously large sums of money, say $50 million or above, can be easy carried in a few suitcases

-jumping, crashing, driving or otherwise going through a plate glass window will cause no more damage other than a few small scrapes

-women who have just gone through a painful break-up (which of course will be reversed by the end of the picture) will react by tearfully watching tearjerker films on rainy evenings while eating an entire gallon of ice cream at one sitting, even though it stands to reason this would only make the situation worse for them (the converse: when they realize they're in love with the man in question, they will hyperactively dance around their residence to whatever legendary song the producer could clear)

-all clocks are perfectly synchronized at all times (hilariously parodied in A Shot in the Dark where Clouseau can't get his synched no matter what he does)

-weapons have unlimited ammunition unless the plot calls for one character to run out. Empty weapons are also thrown immediately away, even if the shooter would have a reload available and the gun could still be used as a non-shooting weapon

-also, any object the hero jumps behind during a shootout, no matter how flimsy, will become instantly bulletproof


For a list of more, considering visiting a good site, www.moviecliches.com

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Pyro
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when they suck:p
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P_a_u_l
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quote:
Originally posted by Chris the CandyFanMan:
-unless circumstances wager otherwise, all crashing vehicles will explode upon crashing with the force of an atomic grenade, even if it's made clear they're low on fuel beforehand


Sorry to get geeky, but this would actually be scientifically correct. The fuel/air vapor in the tank is what initially explodes, so a completely full fuel tank is far less likely to ignite than a quarter-full tank, which would contain something like thirty litres of highly flammable vapor. You need fuel, oxygen, and a spark to create fire.... [Smile]

Geek trip over.

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The Good Package
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in high school movies its always just that one girl all the guys go after, when there is whole boatload of hot ones in all the background scenes, me personally i would try to score with the whole lot, never did i think there was one and only one.

but alot of the characters seem hung up on just the one

as in teen wolf, if i were scott howard, i would have been with boof from the begining, i understand its important to the story for his character to do what he does

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P_a_u_l
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Yeah - there's always one girl to identify.

She's usually in the top 5% in her class, wears slightly odd or old-fashioned clothes, doesn't use much make-up (if any) on her amazingly-clear skin, ties her hair back in a too-severe way, and, most crucially, wears frumpy glasses.

You see her once, and you know that a dress, a spot of lippy, some hair-spray and contacts will turn her into Miss World.

All the frigging time.....

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