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» iRewind Talk » Movies » « 90's Movies » JAY'S MOVIE RANTS PART 2: FAIR GAME

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Author Topic: JAY'S MOVIE RANTS PART 2: FAIR GAME
JAY LEE
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FAIR GAME-1995

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SYNOPSIS:

Max Kirkpatrick, a down on his luck cop, has to protect civil law attorney, Kate McQuean from a renegade KGB team out to terminate her. The cop and the lawyer are now fair game.


RANT:

What do you get if you take a hot supermodel, a random Baldwin brother, and put them in a mindbogglingly uninspired action movie? That's right, you get the 1995 abomination that was FAIR GAME! And a huge waste of money, effort, and in the case of the viewer, time. Forget for a minute that the Paula Gosling novel was already used for the basis of Sly Stallone's COBRA. What compelled these people to subject us to this putrid pile of cinematic dog vomit? Joel Silver and the execs at Warner Bros. must have thought that they had something really special here. And that the pairing of, arguably the hottest supermodel at the time, Cindy Crawford and the Baldwin du jour, would more or less make this movie sell itself.

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Well, it didn't. This movie was a box office bomb, and a critical flop across the board. And while those things are not always indicative of a movies quality per se, it certainly was in this case. The writing is so lazy, that you get the sense, that they would have accepted any run of the mill action movie script, no matter how pedestrian, to wrap around their ingenious star match-up, as long as it went from A to B, and at least gave the appearance of being a story with any kind of thought behind it. Truth is, this could have been written by an illiterate third grader with ADD.

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It manages to hit every... and I mean EVERY action movie clicheé in the book, as it stumbles, and finally limps its way to the end credits. There is no original thought, or any kind of inspiration in sight here. This is as mindless, and cookie cutter as it gets. All of the action scenes are hackneyed and tired. The characters are all the most boring sterotypes imaginable. And the dialogue is so cringe worthy and atrocious, that I actually feel bad for the actors, having to spew this tripe.

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Poor Billy Baldwin squints his way through the whole thing with, what looks to be, little enthusiasm, and rightly so. The, often, great Steven Berkoff phones in his performance as another bland, russian villain. And it's quite clear that he is only there to pay for his Malibu beach house. And then there is Cindy. Aah yes, sweet Cindy. She could walk the runway and drink a Pepsi like nobody's business. But she sure as **** couldn't act, to save her life. She's not- Elizabeth Berkely in SHOW GIRLS- bad. But she really can't convey emotion, her line delivery is stiff, and she has just about zero chemistry with brother Baldwin. Although considering what she had to work with here, I guess it is somewhat forgivable. She can look pretty, and that's why she's here. And why she was a model, and not an actress.

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One of the big selling points of the movie was Cindy showing some skin. And while it delivers on that promise. It's just not that hot, under the circumstances, and far from enough to distract you from the cataclysmic cluster**** that this movie really is. If the biggest supermodel in the world, showing her sweater meat, can't put butts in the seats, then you have some real problems. And to be honest, I don't think anything could have saved this clunker from going down like the Hindenburg.

NOT EVEN THIS.....

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There's a reason why director, Andrew Sipes only has one feature film credit to his name. There's a reason why Cindy Crawford is not a Hollywood A- lister. There's a reason why people say "who?" when you say Billy Baldwin today. And that reason is FAIR GAME!

And on that note.... Jay Lee has left the building. Thank you, and good night.

[ 01. February 2011, 06:01: Message edited by: JAY LEE ]

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Devolution
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Devolution here,

Quality pics. But I agree, Fair Game is the cheesier version of that terrible Stallone/Stone flick. It's so bad I forget the name.

We are DEVO

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aTomiK
.... has green eyes as well....
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Never seen this disaster.
I was going to buy the dvd someday but now i don´t need to anymore.
I just check this thread every now and then, read Jay´s wonderful review and enjoy the Crawford pics [Big Grin]

Thanks man, 5 euros saved!

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JAY LEE
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Well, im not sure about you, aTomiK. You seem to find the good in every movie [Smile]

Im sure you'd find something to like here [Smile]

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aTomiK
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Ok, if you put it that way i may want to torture myself [Cool]
But it´s 3 euros max from now on!

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Lovers with Cassie
Remembering when Mel Gibson was young....
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quote:
Originally posted by Devolution:
Devolution here,

Quality pics. But I agree, Fair Game is the cheesier version of that terrible Stallone/Stone flick. It's so bad I forget the name.

We are DEVO

Devolution, the name of that film is the 1994 picture The Specialist.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0111255/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Specialist

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Devolution
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Devolution here,

That's right, I thought that was it, but I didn't think Stallone could be in a movie that sounded that smart.

We are DEVO

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80'sRocked

Play it Loud, Play it Proud
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Haha....I remember this crap! I only watched it to see Crawford. I recall the crap reviews it got, but still had to see it!
Posts: 3595 | From: Caught Somewhere in Time.... | Registered: May 2008 | Site Updates: 98  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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